I am currently laying in my bed, on my back, with my computer resting gingerly atop my giant food baby. A couple friends of mine came over a couple hours ago so we could make a quick trip to trader joes, followed by a little commute home to make sweet potato soup and consume copious amounts of goat milk brie and apples and dried mangoes and whatever the heck that delicious Indian yogurt sauce was that Morgen wished she could go at with a spoon. Well, she was the only one who announced it vocally. Then we couldn't help but indulge in dark chocolate and a magnificently impromptu jam session. And this.
This just gives me butterflies of excitement for the next time a boyfriend and I experience some catastrophic mushroom cloud of relationship trouble so I can lower my voice and recite this to him in person to a tee, all the way through.
I digress. One thing that's really rested heavily on my mind lately is the giant gaping metaphorical chasm that stands between my body's age, and my interests. Given the option to stay in and read or talk to someone over dinner about string theory or comparative religion or how little sense the physical world makes, I will snatch it like a hungry hungry hippo snatches those little white plastic spheres. Anybody who knows me, knows that I couldn't party my heart out if my life depended on it, and to be quite honest I kind of dig being an 80 year old woman in a 19 year old body. It's not some sort of faith-laced strictness or moral rigidity that steers me from it, partying is just like.... Strawberry ice cream. Lots of people love it, but I dont ever crave it,and will usually pass it up for something I like better.
I'm so lame I know.
Every time I'm at a rager all I want to do is go night running by myself then climb a mountain then impression sketch the pants off of the sunrise. Figurative pants.
Growing up seems to bring out the recluse in me. No, I think it just further removes me from mob mentality, and makes the depth and honesty of one on one relationships much more valuable to me. No, I'm not growing up.